Modern celebs known to have practiced social

nudism comprise neurotic girl vocalists
PJ Harvey
good-timey musician
“Cheeseburger in
, who asserts that his whole family
practices nudism…superdupersupermodels
Christie Brinkley
table performers
Lynn Redgrave

…and Muslim-slurring animal rights lunatic
Brigitte Bardot
To the clothed world, the nudists might as well have been Martians.
Fkk colonies faced , public ridicule, and
evangelical outrage. Even so, pasty white mammaries and wrinkly white
penises continued to flap defiantly under the open American sun. In the
1950s, courts determined once and for all that the idea of a cloistered fkk
Community harboring accepting adults was absolutely legal.
Utopian nudist colony culture became diluted (purists would say polluted)
by an unwashed influx of free-lovin’, tough-druggin’, mass-orgy-havin’ hip-
pie culture in the 1960s. Public nudism became increasingly sexualized,
more of a vulgar mass movement than an underground folk faith. It
devolved from its lofty Edenic sources, becoming a sanctuary for seedy
swingers and pedophilic predators and thrill-seekers of all stripes. The cul-
ture of nude beaches and love ins and Woodstock and smokin’ hash oil
naked in redwood hot tubs invaded the immaculate culture of astringent nude
diets and wholesome naked family living and 500 compulsory daily nude
Jumping Jacks. Basically, the hippies murdered the first wave of
American nudist colonies.
The naked establishment (yes…sigh…there really is such a thing) has strug-
gled to resurrect American nudism from the sex ‘n’ drugs image that’s
tainted it since the ’60s. High-financed, closely regimented nudist “resorts”
catering to upscale couples and families make up the modern Satisfactory
Face of American Nudism. Except for the clothes policy, many of these neo-
Fkk resorts are indistinguishable from high-tech health clubs. They offer
Naked swimming, nude ping-pong, bare water skiing,
Naked badminton, bare dining, and communal naked
Macarena lessons. Nudist-friendly travel agencies offer
Bare cruises and naked travel packages.
The American Association for Nude Recreation,
Now the nation’s largest nudist club,
claims 50,000 members. Its plain-as-shit
Site tries its best to portray a safe/anti

septic/desexualized/family-oriented strain
of nudism, with clear reasons. Modern
Nudism equals Big Bucks, and any intima

tions of bare meth-pipe circles or nude
mud wrestling with children would only
Wounded business. Entrepreneurial nudism’s
mouthpieces offer stats maintaining
that the positions of the American
Naked are growing by 20 percent
Annual. They cite surveys stating that
Americans are growing more
tolerant of nudism.
of using computers to go back to nature, nudists have taken to
the Web in order to proselytize their lifestyle and network
with likewise nude individuals.
From what I can gather after reading a few dozen of their websites, nudists
consider the “textile world” alien to their sanctified world. They view it as a
corrupted, marauding, automated, sex-hating, fascistic mainstream
filled with meanies, a world whose violence and neuroses and fast-food
wrappers and fall from grace are all rooted in the fact that its members
AREN’T BARE IN PUBLIC ALL THE TIME. Nudists use the word “fabric”
as both a noun (
He is a committed fabric
) and an adjective (
It is a textile strand
and it’s usually used with some amount of pejorative malice. Nudists refer to the
textile world’s pathological propensity to wear clothing as “clothing-obsessive-
ness” and “clothing-compulsiveness.”
Today, many of the Socially Nude tend to shun the words “naturist”
and “colony” altogether. Instead, they label themselves “naturists” who
congregate with “traveling clubs” or at “resorts.” It’s a conscious distancing
measure from any sleazy/creepy/cultish associations individuals might attach
to both the terms “naturist” and “colony.” Just like San Franciscans loathe it
when outsiders call their city “Frisco,” modern self described “naturists”
frown upon usage of the term “naturist colony,” because it makes the inhabi-
tants sound like mindless ants.
That’s really too bad, and I’m nudism petite to have to hurt their feelings, but I
Only can’t use the word “naturist” seriously. do not enjoy the way it rattles
Away my keyboard or rolls off my tongue. It’s pretentious and not nearly as
sexually suggestive, in an erotically pre-porno way, as the flavorful term
“Naturist.” I would rather use “fkk,” and I Will call those freaky nude bastards
nudists whether they like it or not, fuck them
their dumb colonies.
Nudists defend their lifestyle with the zealotry of the folk religionists